Okay, I get it, the idea of communicating with your Inner Child might seem a little woo-woo or Freudian. However, you can’t deny that your younger self is a huge part of who you are as an adult. We often forget that when we deal with stressful situations at work, in relationships or with our family—that most of the baggage, bad habits and unsupportive patterns we carry as an adult come from our childhood.
So, before you discount it, know that you can manifest some powerful self-healing by comforting that mini version of you. It’s been scientifically proven that childhood trauma — like unhealthy parental relationships, violence, abuse, neglect, alcoholism, and serious illness — can have lifelong effects on our overall health, putting us at risk for “chronic stress-related health problems like heart disease, depression, obesity and premature death decades later.”
Taking the time to give your Inner Child the encouragement and support they missed out on can help you release negative perceptions about yourself that have been holding you back from embracing your own badassery.
Here is a great way to start: write your younger self a love note.
Yep, a warm, gushy hug sent back in time to the age when you needed it most! And I want to see what you create, so I’m challenging you to post a few sentences or a photo of your “note to self” on my blog or social media, so we can make it a big ol’ group hug!
If you’re not skilled in sonnet writing, no problem! I’ll be your Cyrano de Bergerac whispering lines from off-stage with these Top 5 tips to help you write a juicy, feel-good love letter to the mini-you.
First, ask yourself this question: If I could talk to the mini me, me as a child, and impart some vital, loving advice, what would I say?
1) Time Travel
Think about the stories you tell yourself and the judgments that are holding you back. These are thoughts like: I can’t do it, I’ll never amount to anything, I’m never enough, I don’t deserve love. This is the time to get real and embrace vulnerability (I know, it’s scary!). You might have to dig deep—and just like you, some of your judgments will be unique too. That’s totally normal! And your negative stories may not even stem from self-doubt or harsh words, but from an experience you had as a child.
Once you know what thoughts you want to release, you’re ready to write.
2) Finger Painting Encouraged.
All you really need to write yourself a love letter is a blank piece of paper and a pen, but it’s a brand new year, so make it fun, push yourself to do a little something extra. 😉 Instead of an old fashioned letter, you could say your message aloud into a voice recorder or turn it into a song. Make a big board of your affirmations or a mind map. Bust out the crayons and glitter. Design your own infographic. Write yourself a loving note in a fun greeting card.
3) The Limit Does Not Exist!
This can be a 5 minute activity or an hour long extravaganza or a free writing exercise. Don’t box yourself in. There is no wrong way to send yourself some love and kindness.
4) I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it…
If this process feels a little uncomfortable at first, and you’re not sure what to write, take what it is that you want to change in your story, and offer a counterbalance to that perception. We’re going to flip that sucker upside down.
Here are some examples.
“I am not enough.” —> You are a bright, shining light in this world, and you are worthy of love. You are more than enough.
“ I feel unsafe.” —> You are so loved, and you are safe and protected. Everything is OK.
5) Use Your Happy Words.
Sprinkle your letter with lots of positive phrases: You are so loved. Enjoy being a kid. Have fun! Be silly. Laugh as much as possible. Shine bright.
I would avoid “Don’t worry,” because 1) it’s impossible to never worry in life, and 2) worrying is a natural instinct you actually need. We use it as an emotional buffer in uncertain (and potentially dangerous) situations.
Instead, try: No ideas are dumb ideas. Challenges make you stronger.
Now, don’t forget your homework! If you’re open to sharing, I want to see what beautiful and loving words you wrote to yourself. Post a few sentences or a photo here in the comments, on my Facebook Page or tag me on Instagram at @theplantelife.
Moniqua is a Certified Holistic Health Coach and Real Food | Real Life Expert. As the Owner and Founder of The Plante Life, she helps women (and a few good men) get their groove on through real food, self care and radical self love so they can live the kick ass, healthy, energetic lives they're meant to live.